What makes a welcoming home?

The details that help someone feel at home are different for every person. For some, it’s a warm family dinner. For others, a cozy couch or a beloved pet.

We spoke with Zetharo, a young person with lived experience in foster care, to hear what home means to him. For him it isn’t a single thing. It’s a collection of everyday moments that made him feel safe, respected, and comfortable in a new place. Simple gestures—like time to adjust, being able to ask questions and respect for boundaries—help him feel like he belongs.

Settling in

One of the first things he emphasized was the importance of time. Entering a new home often means learning new rules and navigating uncertainty. He calls the early days a “grace period.”

“It gives them time to adjust without getting in trouble if they don't know something,” he said, describing a way to help young people settle in.

This can mean time to observe, ask questions, and learn the household rules without fear of getting in trouble for mistakes. For him, this patience shows that the adults understand that settling in takes time.

Comfort zone

Feeling safe means having personal boundaries respected. Physical contact, like roughhousing, should only happen when a child gives permission. For some young people with a history of trauma, rough play can feel overwhelming and can escalate situations if it isn’t approached carefully and with their consent. Being asked first communicates respect and gives youth a sense of control over their own bodies.

Respect extends to other choices as well. Asking about daily routines, preferences, holiday or cultural traditions, or small comforts helps young people feel seen. He described one holiday routine from his early childhood that he loved: “On Christmas Eve, we open two presents. One always has pajamas in it, so we can wear them!” These thoughtful gestures reinforce that he is valued as an individual.

Questions and connections

Asking questions is also a clear sign of care. When families ask questions about preferences and experiences, it shows genuine interest. When no one asks questions, he said, “It makes me feel like, do they want to be around me? Do they want me to feel safe?”

Simple icebreakers and shared activities help young people connect and build trust. “I like icebreakers. It helps me get to know people because I’m a big people person,” he said. Since building trust looks different for every young person, checking in and finding ways to connect that feel comfortable for them can help build stronger relationships. Taking time to have fun together also makes relationships grow, easing tension along the way.

Small moments of presence matter, too. Just sitting together after a hard day or checking in quietly shows that someone was there. “Coming down and sitting with me if I'm having a hard time. That helps a bunch,” he said. These gentle, supportive moments remind him that he isn’t alone.

Look beyond first impressions

Zetharo encourages potential parents not to judge a child by behavior alone.

“Ask me why I did the thing I did. Usually, I'll have an explanation,” he said.

Understanding the context behind actions and listening to a child’s story when they’re ready helps caregivers respond with empathy.

Creating a true home

His reflections show that feeling welcome isn’t about perfection. It’s about patience, curiosity, respect, and showing up, especially in everyday moments. While welcoming a young person into your home can feel like stepping into the unknown, his insights remind us that there are many meaningful ways families can help youth feel safe and cared for. Small, thoughtful gestures can pave the way for trust and belonging. For young people like him, these efforts can transform a new space into something that truly feels like home.

Note: Names have been modified to protect privacy.