Seeing kids fully: A day at the aquarium with Simon

More than meets the eye

To help create Simon’s profile on Northwest Adoption Exchange, his advocate suggested meeting at the aquarium. She wanted him to be out in the world, doing what he loves—exploring and admiring his surroundings—instead of his placement, a medical facility for youth with complex needs.

Megan, an advocate for medically fragile youth, provided some context into her work with youth like Simon. “For people who don’t work with medically fragile children, it can seem like a different world, but their emotional needs are just as important. They experience joy and need just as much love as any child.”

She wants families to understand that in many situations, medically fragile youth are often able and eager to experience the world, just like their peers. Meeting at the aquarium was about challenging assumptions and sharing a really fun day with Simon.

Better understanding the day-to-day

Approximately 10% of children in foster care are considered medically fragile or medically complex. For many, the idea of supporting a youth with varying medical or developmental needs feels like an intimidating task.

Some parents feel uncertain about what they can handle because they don’t understand the needs of a youth. As caregivers learn more, they often gain the confidence needed to step up for these youth.

In foster care, these children typically have robust teams and support systems working around the clock to ensure their safety and wellbeing. That support doesn’t disappear when a youth is able to find permanency.

“Medically fragile kids come with a whole team of specialists that know their care and are going to continue to be there and provide support,” Megan said. “You aren’t running on your own. You have people who you can call.”

Routine, structure, and consistency. These qualities in a family help with any child in foster care but are especially beneficial to medically fragile youth.

“Sometimes families feel like they might not be able to be enough for these kids,” Megan said. “That just isn’t the case. If they’re able to be there for them, and love them for how they are, that is all they need.”

Making a commitment to learning

When asked what parents could bring to their interactions with youth to foster a deeper understanding, a nurse shared: “A willingness to learn. We’re happy to teach you and roll things out slowly.”

One of the best ways to support medically fragile youth is to commit to learning how to care for them. Whether tackling a medical task on your own or asking questions about a youth’s care, each is a step toward understanding how to show up for them.

“What’s so important about these kids having a home is that there is a parent. Somebody that the child can attach to knowing every morning when they wake up, that person will be there,” Megan said. “That can change a child’s world.”

The reward is more than you would imagine

Chris, a foster parent of a medically fragile child, never anticipated fostering a child with significant medical needs. For him, the experience of parenting this child was life-changing. “It’s such an awesome journey, really. I never expected it in my life,” Chris said. “People just imagine it being difficult, but it’s much more rewarding than people think it is.”

Watching these youth hit milestones is incredible and inspiring. Growth moments for youth can look different for every child. It might be a youth receiving a communication device that helps them share their wants and needs. It could be learning how to use equipment that helps them stand or walk. These celebrations may seem unexpected, but for the youth and their teams, these experiences are deeply meaningful.

“A lot of times, people come into these kids’ lives expecting to teach them,” Megan said. “I think sometimes we come into their lives thinking we can make all these big changes, and we find that they actually make those changes for us and teach us what unconditional love is.”

A day full of smiles, laughing, and giggles

At the aquarium, Simon ran from tank to tank, holding the hand of his caregiver. She explained how much Simon has grown over the years she has known him, and how much progress he has made medically. When asked what a family could expect if they welcome Simon into their home, she said: “A day full of smiles, laughing and giggles.” To her, Simon is not a medically fragile or medically complex youth. He’s just Simon, an immensely happy, excited five-year-old.

No two youth in foster care are alike. Each carry their own experiences and stories that require different styles of parenting. Learn more about the youth.

Note: *Names and identifying features have been modified to protect privacy.